breaking dawn with sneakers & t-shirts & justice
& making friendships among the impoverished & marginalized
that is... if they'll have me.
On your knees or on your feet?
There seem to me to be two camps. The camp that conferences & prays a great deal, but never really invests themselves in a l-i-f-e-s-t-y-l-e which includes living missional, making disciples, serving the marginalized, & practically working for justice.
The other camp serves & labors in the missional fields zealously, but 
rarely invests themselves in a l-i-f-e-s-t-y-l-e which includes spiritual disciplines, an intimate prayer life, & vibrant interior communion with God.
It is my hope & goal & labor to see the two sides partnered under the Spirit's leadership. Then Christ's body will be strong both in the prayer closet a-n-d on the gritty streets.
Strong in God-intimacy & world-impact .
On 'both' fronts bearing fruit that remains.
I sense God calling His 'servants' into the closet more & his 'brides' onto the streets more. Instead, what is presently taking place is that His brides are going further into the closet & further away from the streets. And His servants are going deeper into the streets & further away from the closet.
In the narrative of Martha & Mary, I believe it was never an issue of 'either' 'or' regarding sitting & listening verses standing & serving. Rather it was a matter of which should come first.
Some make the first thing the only thing. And while they are sitting & soaking, & self perfecting, people outside are hungry & hurting are stumbling & falling & dying for want of someone to reach out & help them.
Others make the second thing the first thing. And it soon becomes the only thing. And while they are standing & serving to the exemption of sitting & soaking, they become more deaf to God's voice, more numb to His guidance. And worse... estranged from intimacy with the One who gave the word to serve the needy. They reproduce, but the fruit does not bear the unmistakable image of the Father.
Worker bees tend to reproduce worker bees. Closet-mongers ted to reproduce closet-mongers.
The generation who will experience the epic kind of Isaiah 58 promises, will be those who grow strong in a lifestyle that as a rule has on outworking of both the 1st command & the great commission. Each in its right place of priority.
Standing toe to toe with my defections & affections & demons & deadlines - writing love notes & suicide notes which convey that i'm in the freedom of a continual farewell - Inside the gates of God's kingdom & inside the grit of the city's bustle, there i am & there i go.... heading up toward that Galatians 2:20 ledge above while trying to put this crazy good love to practical good use below... Yeah, it's good here. It's very good here. It's finger-licking, foot-washing good here.
If you sleep during seed time & planting,
you will lack during harvest. -God
If you had not been faithful during the 'I can't believe I have to do this' phase, you would never have made it to the ' I can't believe I get to do this' phase. You are enjoying the momentum of 'want to' because you were faithful during the discipline of 'have to'. And what you sowed in faithfulness is being rewarded in fruitfulness.
I got to thinking about us, the way we were made…The way we are created for greatness, but can equally handle smallness if that sometimes be the road to it. The way we are allowed to take up the Life of Christ & let that deep shift transform, addict, & grab us body & soul.
I got to thinking about us -The way we are empowered to taste the Passover; judgment flying over we hidden souls behind blood stained doors. And the way we are subsquently empowered to passover transgressions from others with that same unshakeable & irresistible power of mercy & forgiveness.
The way we are empowered to lay down our life for others as if it were an honor to be asked, instead of an imposition to be endured.
Got to thinking about us… Been thinking about how we are wired for greatness - The greatness it takes to take no account of suffered wrong, & to love strong enough for two when the love of one grows cold. For loving when hated. For embracing when rejected – Rejecting rejection when it comes at us like arrows. For interceding when denied- For standing against the tide… We're created for greatness.
Been thinking how we've been given enough love for us & ours & for everybody else too. How we can take it, when required. And dish it out when righteously necessary. How we can go it, when the second mile is calling from out of some trying situation. Been thinking about how we can bend when flexibility is the better choice, & stand erect in the winds of foolish change.
Been thinkin' bout how we’ve been wired to hold the secrets of others & spread them spilling out like a whisper before the Lord alone in prayer. Bout how we can have that love of God spilling over, plenty for come what may protection against bitterness & criticalness offenses & grudges. Protecting one another instead of lashing out.
Been thinking about how we are wired for twisting anger to peace with a calm response & gentle edifying words. For practicing ruthless mercy. For offering two garments & taking two slaps with the bigger picture in mind.For taking the high road when the low road seeks to evangelize us to its side.
Been thinking about us… About the way we are destined to bring shift change to our corner of the world with radical generosity & a revolution of goodness which runs headlong against the spirit of me, myself & I as well as the spirit of us & them. Yeah, we're called to greatness. Empowered to walk in it. Encouraged to yeild to it, to accept the truth of it. And with that acceptance, to "forever north crying freedom, run on unshakled"
There is a great difference
between asking Christ to
give you life & freedom
versus asking Christ to
be your life & freedom.
Tears of a rapist
I'd not seen him before. No one at Poplar would know him. He didn't look up. He just kept staring into the bag of groceries I'd just given him. He just kept looking down.
"My life didn't used to be like this... where did it go wrong..." he said.
"There's something else....I've done something awful... I'm so ashamed..." A story of wrong choices, wrong friends, a drinking spree getting out of control, arrest, DNA swabs, cells & a rape charge has me sighing at the brokeness of what I was hearing.
The story told - he looks up into my face looking for rejection. I say nothing...
"My life didn't used to be like this... where did it go wrong..." I say nothing...
He half composes himself - "I'm in court next week... I'm scared..." I put my hand on his shoulder. "I'm sure you know if you are guilty" His shoulders shake as deep sobs interrupt the moment.
I look into his eye's "What do you want me to pray?"
Through his sobs he barely whispers "that justice will be done..."
Jesus wants to build a church
that thrives in opposition & trouble.
Jesus wants to build a people
who will look at the greatest difficulties
just as Joshua & Caleb
looked at the giants in the promised land
& simply said
"They will be bread for us."
He would not bow down to the gods of comfort, convenience, entertainment, sex, selfish ambition, & short cuts. Stood firm in his commitment to worship God & God alone as he undertook a commission to love w/out condition & be a light in great darkness. He would choose death over disobedience, & he wouldn't relent in carrying out his call to walk with God & do His will.
That's my big brother.
I want be just like Him.
Sitting in an uptown coffeehouse inquiring, scheming & dreaming for 2012 underneath the shadow of the skyscrapers above & the homeless below. There somewhere between the marketplace & the marginalized, mission is being plotted to thwart evil & overthrow darkness & break blindness & heal brokenness & help equip revolutionaries in a full on insurrection against lies & less & divided loyalties & lukewarm love. Skyscrapers above. Homeless below. Me in the middle, inquiring & scheming & dreaming toward the making of disciples - disciples not of men, churches, or denominations, but the making of disciples of Christ.
1 “What sorrow awaits my rebellious children,”
says the Lord.
“You make plans that are contrary to mine.
You make alliances not directed by my Spirit,
thus piling up your sins...
8 Now go and write down these words.
Write them in a book.
They will stand until the end of time
as a witness
9 that these people are stubborn rebels
who refuse to pay attention to the Lord’s instructions.
10 They tell the seers,
“Stop seeing visions!”
They tell the prophets,
“Don’t tell us what is right.
Tell us nice things.
Tell us lies.
11 Forget all this gloom.
Get off your narrow path.
Stop telling us about your
‘Holy One of Israel.’”( Isaiah 30)
Months back when Scottish leaders came up to Charlotte & over to 24-7 to get some deliverance training & re-vision casting for their ministries, those few days were some of the best. Enjoyed every second spent teaching, talking, vision-casting, answering questions, listening, & befriending. Can't wait to get over to Scotland to see them again. Till then, 2012 for us will be all about emails & pen on paper & stamps & the mailmen who will help us cultivate & continue the fire that started when we were face to face.
Before there was the 'all this' You called me to & set me into & keep in missional motion... Before there was the 'this & that' & all the ministrations & ministries which fill the bulk & span of my day's day. Before there was an office & a building & a budget & a pushing into the city with a mandate & a pushing into men's hearts with a swab or a sword. Before all of this, there was You & I. And when all 'this' passes away, there will still be You & I. So here now, in the middle of the 'all this' that You started & keep going by grace; here I sit low to do nothing more than to seek & see You. Because for me it has never really been all about the 'what', but the 'Who with'. So... pardon my stare here in the wee hours of pre-day's start. And pardon my repetitive glances, down in the thick of this day's middles. And pardon my sins, too. To the One of whom I am cultivating an addiction, pardon the stalking tendencies I intend to display as I disentangle myself from the affairs of this life so that I may have a well tangled affair with You... and You alone.
I'm not courting God like a ravished lover - No. Mine is a much messier quest. I'm courting Him like a cocaine addict - counting worthless & selling off anything that stands between having what I seek....
Scouring the deep recesses of all my comfort zones for any remnant of change that may have slipped between the cushions... every penny counts & everything that is mine is handed over that I might apprehend Him, know Him, walk in the pleasure of His presence, & in His resurrection life... Even if it means fellowshipping with suffering. Here, anchored in the sweat & snot & tears & shakes of a morning 'episode' .. my longing overtakes my logic & reason. I curse my brokenness, swear through a vow, & hand over all my gods & goods for another sight of His face, his heart, His soul... Him. I'm not courting God like a ravished lover - This morning mine is a much, much messier quest - I court Him like a cocaine addict.
Sneakers, smoke, & strong whiskey.
-another day to lock gaze in God-wonder & a come nearer still. my heart leans hard right into it now. right into the wild, base, breathtaking simplicity of companioning a God both mystical & missional.
inside me: candles & altars. liturgy & incense-smoke. polyphonic chants & primal shouts. outside: dirty gym-shoes & clean justice. show-&-tell & disciplemaking & battlescars to boot. yeah, risk-taking & standing tippy-toed to reach into & serve out with age-to-come gifts & power. family & friends & confidants & counselors all in between the lines.
mistakes & outakes & whisky-strong jagged-edged worship all underneath the landscape - like lava spilling out over the low & high ledges, making new ground while changing the contours of the old. yeah, incense burning, sneakers going on, whisky-strong worship going up, & me headed into another day to lock gaze in God-wonder & a mad mission to come nearer still while going further out-
In light of all this, here's what I want you to do. While I'm locked up here, a prisoner for the Master, I want you to get out there and walk—better yet, run!—on the road God called you to travel. I don't want any of you sitting around on your hands. I don't want anyone strolling off, down some path that goes nowhere. And mark that you do this with humility and discipline—not in fits and starts, but steadily, pouring yourselves out for each other in acts of love, alert at noticing differences and quick at mending fences. -Apostle Paul
To the One who will one day take my breath away...
You take my breath away even now.
And for this death-life-missional-heart-colliding-dance called discipleship,
I thank You.
Standing toe to toe with my defections & affections & demons & deadlines - writing love notes & suicide notes which convey that I am in the freedom of a continual farewell - even as I fight my way to pass & cast the thoughts which exalt themselves above the knowledge of God - even as I sit here in the hollow of the day's noise - even now I get to decide & redecide that the battles & skirmishes & stumbles & risings - even these are a part of what makes the adventure great. Instead of issuing forth prayers of burden-themed-worry as if it were a troublesome chore to be chosen to stand in the trial & in the gap & in the faith that makes God-endings possible... I stand honored & in awe. Oh these wondrous tragedies & tests & triumphs with there own timelines differing from mine - even these provoke prayers of Wow, i can hardly believe I get to be the one entrusted with believing & appropriating & growing & persevering & ultimately overcoming for myself & for others. My life is better than Lord of the Rings, & this morning I lean into the grace to rip off the whine & woe is me which daily seeks to adhire like burs, & instead rise into the storyline of this 24 hours - being fully what I am where I am... so that even what I am not yet stands proudly mocking all that would seek to prevent me from carryout out His life's work in the context of a great & freely given Soul-rest.
As Jesus' time on the Earth was coming to a close, He turned to His small band of disciples & said; "You
are the light of the world". "Go make disciples of all nations...". In essence He communicated that He was leaving & it was now gonna fall on them, that they were going to be the instruments God was going to use to change the world.
Bet they must have been shaking in their boots. Their 1st thought must have been; "How in the world...?"
It's likely that their first thoughts were not, "Well If He said it, then He's got a plan & a pace that both cares for us & for the world we're called light up.
I find most people are intimidated by any sizable call from God.
I know I sometimes am.
What was that Chinese proverb? "The journey of a thousand miles begins with one small step". I'm intrigued by the fact that after commissioning His disciples to "Be light of the world" & carry out His mission to "make disciples of all nations..", his following immediate instruction was for them to go sit down, chill, wait. So they gathered & waited for the Director & direction as they shared ideas, & talked together about life & ministry & the goodness of God in the context of there one step at a time great big call.
If it is indeed God that's calling you to something - Understand the the call has weight, but beware of the shadows that make things appear much more intimidating than they actually are. Don't let your imagination convince you it will all be too overwhelming. It will always only ever be one step at a time thing. And remember, God will be with you.
head to dirt,
hand to sky,
hard to contain gratitude
right there in the narrow straights
between God, Goliath, Mission, & me.
Rather this adventure,
where fear & faith sometimes play the game of high speed chicken on this one lane narrow road
than the quiet of a
risk-free, low-yield life.
Yeah, knee to cement,
head to dirt,
hand to sky,
hard to contain, gratitude
right down here in the narrow straights.
Today, You. Tomorrow, You. The day after that, You. Not You in some vague general way.
You in the specifics & down below churning at the core.
You, in the deeds -the why & way of the acts that litter the landscape of the day.
You, in the thoughts & reasonings from the landfills in my soul.
You, in the meditations of my heart. You, in the conversations of my mouth.
You, in the brutal slaying of your rivals to these my affections. You, in the quiet corners at red lights & lines in the grocery store.
You, in the loud noise of my schedule & son & all trafficking plans in my head. You, in my best laid plans.
Today, You. You, acknowledged. You, sought. You, admired. You, known. You, communed with, You, home.
In this world there is plenty to do.
Plenty of something & plenty of nothing & plenty of things in between.
In this world there is child trade & sex trade & human trafficking in corners just now coming to light...
Not that coming to light guarantees change. In this world there are genocides & suicides & poverty the likes of which should move us all to action. Some action. Any action. Even just one action.
But that which moves us to tears does not automatically moves us to action. In this world there are billionaires & millionaires & even the poor of the richest nation have money to spare. But money to spare does not equate to money given away to make way for change in those corners brought to light. In this world there are embittered battles between husbands & wives, brothers & sisters, neighbor to neighbor, gang to gang, church to church, believers against believers...
In this world there are followers of Christ. though many are more like followers of culture with a dash of morality thrown in; only a shadow of the substance they were meant to be. Others too deeply entrenched in thier clicques or too deeply tucked in thier closets to be of any use out in the world where atrocities & batteries & need-pleas are taking place - some far away, some just next door.
In this world there is plenty to do. Plenty of something & plenty of nothing & plenty of things in between. What we shadows spend our money, efforts, & emotional inertia on is truer commentary on whose followers we are, than what we say with our lips. Coming soon... followers of Christ. Recklessly devoted to the man Jesus & to His mission to change the world with a goodness revolution.
And now comes the season of iron sharpening iron as we shoulder close to know God's heart, bear His likeness, & live out His message. In childlike wonder, engaging in the pleasures of this life, we drink deep from the people, places, & things that make this world provocatively beautiful. We live full. We play hard. We leisure well. We pray hard. We laugh deep - we kingdom eunichs. We, Christ-apprentices, who take on the yoke, take up our cross, & put on the mantle of serving others as we simultaneously engage every "Follow Me" discipline that will help in our swift pursuit of the holiness & wholeheartedness which enables us to see beyond the headlines & into the details of God. We'll live wide & deep in the joys of earth but remain willingly severed from that which would distract us from companioning the King & fulfilling His earthly desires. He alone is now our deepest delight.
Our hands too clean.
Our knees too clean.
Our feet avoid the dirty places.
Our houses unsullied & unsoiled by the marginalized, poor, & homeless. So much cleanliness stemming from such unclean hearts living in such sanitized settings.
Camel meet needle's eye.
A proverb for this largely toweless, entangled, entitlement generation...
The richer, the poorer. The poorer, the richer. The cleaner, the dirtier. The dirtier, the cleaner.
Camel meet needle's eye.
Manifesto
- Living & dying daily to know God intimately - And in radical obedience & kamikazi servanthood, to carry out His life's work. ________ Having all these words be more than just words as I soul-press, excuses-crucify, life-surrender & present my body to embody the message of my friend Jesus.
January 2012
Needs More Cowbell
- Accidental
- Adventures
- Angry Aliens
- belief.net
- Boundless
- Cartoons
- Change the World
- Don Potter
- fire on the altar
- GloBlog
- god's [politics
- Godhungry
- gospel driven church
- grace
- Jaeson
- johnny baker
- Kamp Krusty
- kingdom grace
- Missio Deo
- Naeem -the other1
- nakedpastor
- NLC Blog
- Pyromaniacs
- Raves
- samIam
- small ritual
- visual aids
Resources
- worship
- markberry
- lent blog
- worship resources
- bread
- artist for christ
- beyond relevance
- nelsons blog
- Daily Life in a Homeless Shelter
- Geez Magazine
- leadership blog
- apples&snakes
- drudge report
- Bickle
- MCN
- Lifetv
- proost
- dis...next
- U2 Sermons
- Paste Magazine
- Donor Power
- creativegraphix
- Internet Archive
- IHOP Network
- prohetic links
- THEOOZE
- GodTube.com
- HotWorship
- Wade Taylor
- OnMovements
- Church Marketing Sucks
- Creativity Techniques
- .:::rejesus
- Worship Media Links
- RELEVANT MAGAZINE
- Bible commentaries
- Worship House Media,
- IV EXHIBITION
- Christ in You Ministries
- John Wesley's Journal
