3/3/08 Woke up feeling sluggish. Surrounded by what seemed to me a mountainous mass of stuff compiled of clothes, shoes, scarves, papers, rugs, chairs, couches, TV. dishes, cds, forks. For a moment & felt smothered by it all. It’s not the stuff in my house nor the equal mass of stuff compiled on my job to do list… it’s me. I’m overwhelmed by a need to look around & survey in the stark daylight what is really important…and what is not. To ask myself if my people & time investments are where they should be…reflective of what matters most- reflective of where my passions lay, & reflective of the obediences that set my journey down this particular path. It’s through no fear of being wrong. I’ve been that many times. God & I can handle that. It’s not even out of a need to be "right". No, for me it’s a gut check. I ask myself; Am I abiding in Him? Am I walking with God? Am I vested in the communion & intimacy that makes a man who has nothing think himself rich. Is God my chief delight or have other lessor gods begun distracting me from that white hot pursuit that should characterize who I am. I sense that inch by inch ground is being taken from me on that front. And today I go to get it back.
Addendum: A good day. Had to contend for communion, but it has been good, even though it was at moments costly. Asked for prayer from j. Had a great meeting with m. finalizing details & dates for some big ticket items & community wide events in V. Heights. Picked up a new piece of loaned art for the prayer room. It's a stunning art-piece on the subject of Grace. Went to Starbucks with Jr. Read him a bunch of books while there at his favorite table. Prayed for k. Cleaned part of the house. Thought much of the Inksters coming in two weeks & of the Primals coming in a month, & even more-so of Neil. Our emails have whittled down in words to "Wish you were here" & "I wish I was there too". What else is there to say. Nothing. So now I make ready for the arrival of Neil's Pastors coming in his stead. What a strange turn of events. Today the Charlotte Observer, a local newspaper, asked to do a spread on the 24-7 prayer room. Uhm... OK.