Here in the morning of today, standing before the God of today, my heart begins to stir for an amputation of an expectation of a tomorrow. It is not promised, ya know. This morning, like a gauntlet thrown down at my feet, God challenges me to live in that truth... today.
My hearts begins to stir to live today with no tomorrow guaranteed. Standing at the cusp of a tomorrowless morning, I immediately start giving away all I have... outward & inward & even time itself. All that which I took as belonging to me, I start giving away, all I've got, right down to the dust that settled when I reached for & gave away long untouched possessions. Giving it all away to Christ here in God's presence means I've got nothing to lose anywhere & everywhere else.
In this tomorrowless today, I, like a recovering alcoholic, pour all of my surrendered will into the truth of my God-need, & reach up in a self-unconfidence that recognizes God alone as the only source for survival today - the kind of Life-thriving soul-survival that made a day in the life of Jesus look like it did both for him personally & for those around him.
With nothing but His will to prevail on me, & tomorrow having no sway, it becomes a knee-bending, verbally slurred, emotionally messy affair as I run rush-ready at God to lavish my affections on Him. Not so that He'll know I love Him. He already knows that. No, I run full speed at Him so that he can e-x-p-e-r-i-e-n-c-e my love for Him. Above all others & before all others, I want Him to h-a-v-e what He knows, to t-a-s-t-e of what He's been told concerning my God-love. From this person who craves this God-encounter, I draw near to give God this man encounter. Just as I now sense the weight of His glory & the weight of His pleasure, I want Him to sense the weight of my gratitude for it.
With no tomorrow to opiate me, when God speaks, I swear to & bend to tremble at His word. Because this way of & level of God-response has become rare among men, it has subsequently become a kind of delicacy to God. Rare & costly, aromatic, rich, & sweet, an incomparable rare delicacy to God. And today I wish Him to have His fill of it as I tremble at the words He speaks & promise to keep hold of its substance, carrying it through today the way a mother carries a newborn - laying down my life for its survival, & bringing all my resources cultivating its maturing.
With only the day after yesterday to dwell in, I move to make the most of my present God-addiction, going the whole way today. All or nothing today... Wherever He leads, whatever the cost. Today, whether in work or play or missional power-displays, I'm making withdrawals on His life & love like I'm working to run that God-supplied account empty. My faith running hard to catch up to my reckless abandonment to the will of God today... I pause briefly & wait for faith to be at my side. Because tomorrow is not promised, I speak to faith frankly about what today may entail. And with our partnership secured, we head in a strolls pace into come what may today. With nothing but the bread of His presence to feast on, & nothing but to love & abide as our only discipline & delight, we stroll out into this tomorrowless day - Come what may.