Had A-Pak last night. It started at 7pm with good & heartfelt encouragements & conversation. Then, in prayer before God together, the room filled with raw repentance & the sounds of absolute surrender followed by deliverances & the shouts of people in long deep belly laughs for the joy of their newfound freedoms. Around 10:30 we, with some reluctance, wrapped up & headed out, met by the kind of full moon that sparks the imagination of ten year olds. We just stood there & gazed at it with childlike wonder as we spoke of the smile on the man in the moon. I drove home, still somewhat inebriated, laughing intermittently the whole way. At home husband & son were sprawled out on our bed. I cradled Jaxon in my arms & put him in his own bed, & then I hit the sack like a bag of rocks. Slept soundly. Dreamed. Woke refreshed.
MAN SHALL NOT LIVE BY BREAD ALONE but by every Word that proceeds from the mouth of God. Headed into my first ever 40 day fast. Apprehensively nervous on the flesh side. Supremely thirsty on the spirit front. Greedy for more on every front. So, guys... pray for me in what I'm about to undergo for the good of this kingdom men have lived & died to stand & stay in in ways worthy of The King who beget it.The desert feast of fasting for the reward of the Father + + +
I'm in the throws of making an important decision to continue living in the upscale Dilworth neighborhood or moving my family to Optimist Park, the inner-city neighborhood the 24-7 Justice Project is serving in. It would involve moving from a posh safe community to the more risky 'hood. And for what? My only answer is Isaiah 58 & the millennial3 monastery / boiler room 24-7 is destined to become Btw, the house is two doors down from the 24-7 prayer room & has a spectacular city-scape view from the big porch roomy enough for many rocking chairs. Plenty of room for housing summer interns too. But what of my son growing up in such a crime-ridden place? What to do? What to do?
Christians have been donating computers to The Justice Project for the free computer tutoring we provide for residents in the neighborhood we're serving. Spent a big chunk of this morning deleting dozens & dozens of porn sites & X-rated files off the donated computers. Sigh... In all this talk about what it means to be forgiven, have we forgotten to talk about what it means to be holy?
Had a productive time doing a deliverance set the other day. I dig getting to set captives free in such a straight forward context. Longing for the day when the 24-7 Deliverance Team is up & running full tilt in serving the city as an epicenter for such ministry. Beginning mid-late August, via weekly teaching sessions, we'll be starting apprenticeships in the area of healing. And late September, public gatherings will begin teaching/apprenticing people in embedding the spiritual disciplines into their lifestyle. We're calling it The Soul Food Series. It starts just as The Justice Project is winding down. A-Pak continues to ask people to give up thier lives in reckless abandonment to God. And every week we discover new ways to dive in head first. Have been pretty honored as of late due to God having permitted me to walk in communion with Him in some pretty unique & intensely satisfying ways. Storms & sporadic tensions have been reduced to perfect stillness & absolute trust. Each day I throw it all away & see what he returns back to me. Great meeting with a city Pastor this morning, as I could literally see the right shifts taking place in her as we spoke. Yay God. Lucky me too. Had a 'best day' yesterday as I got to spend lots of time with my family. Especially some quality time with my husband, whom I love more deeply now than, well, ever.
It happened... 2 weeks after my son's 5th birthday it happened.
Jaxon & I had been listening to worship music together before bedtime a few days prior. I'd cut on the itunes visualizer with it's wild colors & visual interpretation of the music playing, & we'd listen to 'All This For our King', by David Crowder. It's Jaxon's favorite song. One afternoon a few days ago when Jaxon came home from school I put on a Don Moen worship Cd &, unlike past reactions of heading to watch Curious George, his favorite afterschool cartoon, he instead glued his ear to the speaker, asked me to cut it up, & proceeded to sing... He laid there beside the speaker for about 40 minutes, listening to the same song over & over, mimicking the words. On occasion, between songs, he'd ask if I would by him a guitar & a drum set. The next day when I came home from work, there was my son dancing around the livingroom listening to a worship song that his dad had on so loud I could hear it from just outside the door. Scott said Jaxon had been dancing wildly around the livingroom for about an hour. Jaxon also insisted on having the worship songs played instead of his usual bedtime selections... The next day, much of the same. The day after that, more of the same. So it's begun, I thought to myself. As I watched Jaxon dance & sing day after day, I could see something being born - the heart of a worshipper.
Just interviewed & hired a Co-Captain for The Justice Project. Organizationally & prophetic strong, this person is gonna rock that position & cause The Justice Project to thrive as a result. Welcome aboard K.F. P.S. Got some really great interns joining us from Abbey Bible College & Gordon Conwell Seminary. Hope that as they help here we'll help their theology get its street creed back. Dirty knees a-n-d Dirty hands. Clean hearts a-n-d Cleaner N'hoods. Strong in the closet a-n-d on the street. Bowing before God a-n-d bending to serve the needy. Isaiah 58 with skin on it.
The intimate reality of His presence in our lives, & His love & power passing through us into our world -
To know God's heart - Bear His likeness - & carry His message... Yeah, that's what I live & breathe for. It's why I get up in the morning. It shapes from where I stand & how I fall & the way I get up again....and why. And though I can not stand the sound of my own voice - it keeps me talking & telling the story of God & man becoming one.
Living & dying daily to know God intimately - And in radical obedience & kamikazi servanthood, to carry out His life's work. ________
Having all these words be more than just words as I soul-press, excuses-crucify, life-surrender & present my body to embody the message of my friend Jesus.