Standing toe to toe with my defections & affections & demons & deadlines, writing love notes & suicide notes which convey that I am in the freedom of a continual farewell - even as i fight my way to pass & cast the thoughts which exalt themselves above the knowledge of God - even as I sit here in the hollow of the day's noise - even now I get to decide & redecide that the battles & skirmishes & stumbles & risings - even these are a part of what makes the adventure great. Instead of issuing forth prayers of burden-themed-worry as if it were a troublesome chore to be chosen to stand in the trial & in the gap & in the faith that makes God-endings possible... I stand honored & in awe. Oh these wondrous tragedies & tests & triumphs with there own timelines differing from mine - even these provoke prayers of Wow, i can hardly believe I get to be the one entrusted with believing & appropriating & growing & persevering & ultimately overcoming for myself & for others. My life is better than Lord of the Rings, & this morning I lean into the grace to rip off the whine & woe is me which daily seeks to adhire like burs, & instead rise into the storyline of this 24 hours - being fully what I am where I am... so that even what I am not yet stands proudly mocking all that would seek to prevent me from carryout out His life's work in the context of a great & freely given Soul-rest.