He would not bow down to the gods of comfort, convenience, entertainment, sex, selfish ambition, & short cuts. Stood firm in his commitment to worship God & God alone as he undertook a commission to love w/out condition & be a light in great darkness. He would choose death over disobedience, & he wouldn't relent in carrying out his call to walk with God & do His will.
That's my big brother.
I want be just like Him.
Sitting in an uptown coffeehouse inquiring, scheming & dreaming for 2012 underneath the shadow of the skyscrapers above & the homeless below. There somewhere between the marketplace & the marginalized, mission is being plotted to thwart evil & overthrow darkness & break blindness & heal brokenness & help equip revolutionaries in a full on insurrection against lies & less & divided loyalties & lukewarm love. Skyscrapers above. Homeless below. Me in the middle, inquiring & scheming & dreaming toward the making of disciples - disciples not of men, churches, or denominations, but the making of disciples of Christ.
1 “What sorrow awaits my rebellious children,”
says the Lord.
“You make plans that are contrary to mine.
You make alliances not directed by my Spirit,
thus piling up your sins...
8 Now go and write down these words.
Write them in a book.
They will stand until the end of time
as a witness
9 that these people are stubborn rebels
who refuse to pay attention to the Lord’s instructions.
10 They tell the seers,
“Stop seeing visions!”
They tell the prophets,
“Don’t tell us what is right.
Tell us nice things.
Tell us lies.
11 Forget all this gloom.
Get off your narrow path.
Stop telling us about your
‘Holy One of Israel.’”( Isaiah 30)
Months back when Scottish leaders came up to Charlotte & over to 24-7 to get some deliverance training & re-vision casting for their ministries, those few days were some of the best. Enjoyed every second spent teaching, talking, vision-casting, answering questions, listening, & befriending. Can't wait to get over to Scotland to see them again. Till then, 2012 for us will be all about emails & pen on paper & stamps & the mailmen who will help us cultivate & continue the fire that started when we were face to face.
In light of all this, here's what I want you to do. While I'm locked up here, a prisoner for the Master, I want you to get out there and walk—better yet, run!—on the road God called you to travel. I don't want any of you sitting around on your hands. I don't want anyone strolling off, down some path that goes nowhere. And mark that you do this with humility and discipline—not in fits and starts, but steadily, pouring yourselves out for each other in acts of love, alert at noticing differences and quick at mending fences. -Apostle Paul
To the One who will one day take my breath away...
You take my breath away even now.
And for this death-life-missional-heart-colliding-dance called discipleship,
I thank You.
Standing toe to toe with my defections & affections & demons & deadlines - writing love notes & suicide notes which convey that I am in the freedom of a continual farewell - even as I fight my way to pass & cast the thoughts which exalt themselves above the knowledge of God - even as I sit here in the hollow of the day's noise - even now I get to decide & redecide that the battles & skirmishes & stumbles & risings - even these are a part of what makes the adventure great. Instead of issuing forth prayers of burden-themed-worry as if it were a troublesome chore to be chosen to stand in the trial & in the gap & in the faith that makes God-endings possible... I stand honored & in awe. Oh these wondrous tragedies & tests & triumphs with there own timelines differing from mine - even these provoke prayers of Wow, i can hardly believe I get to be the one entrusted with believing & appropriating & growing & persevering & ultimately overcoming for myself & for others. My life is better than Lord of the Rings, & this morning I lean into the grace to rip off the whine & woe is me which daily seeks to adhire like burs, & instead rise into the storyline of this 24 hours - being fully what I am where I am... so that even what I am not yet stands proudly mocking all that would seek to prevent me from carryout out His life's work in the context of a great & freely given Soul-rest.
As Jesus' time on the Earth was coming to a close, He turned to His small band of disciples & said; "You
are the light of the world". "Go make disciples of all nations...". In essence He communicated that He was leaving & it was now gonna fall on them, that they were going to be the instruments God was going to use to change the world.
Bet they must have been shaking in their boots. Their 1st thought must have been; "How in the world...?"
It's likely that their first thoughts were not, "Well If He said it, then He's got a plan & a pace that both cares for us & for the world we're called light up.
I find most people are intimidated by any sizable call from God.
I know I sometimes am.
What was that Chinese proverb? "The journey of a thousand miles begins with one small step". I'm intrigued by the fact that after commissioning His disciples to "Be light of the world" & carry out His mission to "make disciples of all nations..", his following immediate instruction was for them to go sit down, chill, wait. So they gathered & waited for the Director & direction as they shared ideas, & talked together about life & ministry & the goodness of God in the context of there one step at a time great big call.
If it is indeed God that's calling you to something - Understand the the call has weight, but beware of the shadows that make things appear much more intimidating than they actually are. Don't let your imagination convince you it will all be too overwhelming. It will always only ever be one step at a time thing. And remember, God will be with you.
Today, You. Tomorrow, You. The day after that, You. Not You in some vague general way.
You in the specifics & down below churning at the core.
You, in the deeds -the why & way of the acts that litter the landscape of the day.
You, in the thoughts & reasonings from the landfills in my soul.
You, in the meditations of my heart. You, in the conversations of my mouth.
You, in the brutal slaying of your rivals to these my affections. You, in the quiet corners at red lights & lines in the grocery store.
You, in the loud noise of my schedule & son & all trafficking plans in my head. You, in my best laid plans.
Today, You. You, acknowledged. You, sought. You, admired. You, known. You, communed with, You, home.
In this world there is plenty to do.
Plenty of something & plenty of nothing & plenty of things in between.
In this world there is child trade & sex trade & human trafficking in corners just now coming to light...
Not that coming to light guarantees change. In this world there are genocides & suicides & poverty the likes of which should move us all to action. Some action. Any action. Even just one action.
But that which moves us to tears does not automatically moves us to action. In this world there are billionaires & millionaires & even the poor of the richest nation have money to spare. But money to spare does not equate to money given away to make way for change in those corners brought to light. In this world there are embittered battles between husbands & wives, brothers & sisters, neighbor to neighbor, gang to gang, church to church, believers against believers...
In this world there are followers of Christ. though many are more like followers of culture with a dash of morality thrown in; only a shadow of the substance they were meant to be. Others too deeply entrenched in thier clicques or too deeply tucked in thier closets to be of any use out in the world where atrocities & batteries & need-pleas are taking place - some far away, some just next door.
In this world there is plenty to do. Plenty of something & plenty of nothing & plenty of things in between. What we shadows spend our money, efforts, & emotional inertia on is truer commentary on whose followers we are, than what we say with our lips. Coming soon... followers of Christ. Recklessly devoted to the man Jesus & to His mission to change the world with a goodness revolution.
Our hands too clean.
Our knees too clean.
Our feet avoid the dirty places.
Our houses unsullied & unsoiled by the marginalized, poor, & homeless. So much cleanliness stemming from such unclean hearts living in such sanitized settings.
Camel meet needle's eye.
A proverb for this largely toweless, entangled, entitlement generation...
The richer, the poorer. The poorer, the richer. The cleaner, the dirtier. The dirtier, the cleaner.
Camel meet needle's eye.
Maybe. Just maybe, instead of just looking for more ways to get more for yourself as a Christian... More great sermons. More great worship. More great Christian community. More great meetings to attend. More from Christian self help books. More inner- healing. More growing. More experience of God's presence, etc.
Maybe instead of predominately thinking about getting, acquiring, gathering more good things for you, maybe, just maybe it's time to think predominately about giving more of yourself away to those around you who have even less, know even less - those who are groping in the dark & would kill for the measure of light you have.
What if you decided to explode missionally with radical generosity, a no-strings-attached-goodness, & a love put to practical use toward those in your corner of the world, & in the places you frequent, & in the neighborhood you live in.
How about it?
How about taking your prayers out on the open road.
Pray & prophecy to the stranger.
How about meeting your neighbors & listening to their stories & trials & offering to help.
How about mowing the lawn of the guy who never mows.
How about making some sick person your personal healing project?
How about inviting the wall flower or misfit over for dinner?
How about discipling someone.
How about targeting some neighbor, unsaved office worker, or acquaintance & making them your salvation project?
How about seeking out the really lonely people, inviting them into your circle, & investing time with em.
When was the last time you did some random act of radical kindness?
What if the real more you are seeking, but can't seem to hold on to when you get it... what if that lasting kind of more only comes from consistently giving more of yourself away.
In Short:
What if your internal health is tied to your missional health?
Maybe it's time to take that water to the desert, instead of to the ocean.
Maybe less churchy activities with those you already know, & more service & relational activities with people in your corner of the world you don't already know & with those who don't know Christ?
Maybe, just maybe it could make all the difference in the world.
One Easter I got into a bit of a yelling match with a guy in a visor at an Easter egg hunt. The whole thing was exactly how Jesus imagined us honoring that day.
We were at my in-laws country club, which always makes me feel a little weird. We’re certainly rich in a global way, but I kind of think that they can all tell that I’m just a visitor. I feel like the real members can smell middle class on me. (Which kind of smells like sun ripened raspberry and feet by the way.)
So after I pointed to where a golden egg was hidden to my 5 year old daughter, he yelled at me for cheating. I told him that his white visor made him look like a financial planner who was wearing his “casual uniform.” Whole thing got very out of hand. (I didn’t say that, but I thought it later when we were driving home, which is where most of my comebacks occur.)
The entire incident was gross. My daughter, who lost a golden egg last year has actually asked not to participate in the Easter egg hunt this year. That’s how messed up and tangled we’ve made this season of our lives.
But the more I think about it, the more I realize that one of the things Easter is all about is actually pretty simple. I’ve written about it before and I hope to write about it again.
I’m talking about the “comma of grace.”
I found it in Luke 22. In that chapter, Jesus is being led away. He is headed to the cross. A million prophecies are coming true and chaos is breaking out a little amongst disciples that up to this point have sworn to serve until death. In the midst of that, he pulls Simon aside because he knows that Simon will soon betray him.
He says to Simon in Luke 22:31-32:
“Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail.”
And then, he drops the 9 words that I can’t write about enough. The 9 words that I often turn to when I’ve failed and messed up again and feel hopelessly undeserving of hope.
Jesus tells Simon:
“And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.”
Do you see what Jesus is saying in that first half of the sentence, And when you have turned back? He’s saying:
You are going to fail.
You are going to fall.
You are going to lose it.
You are going to make commitments and break them.
You are not going to always be the man your family needs.
You are going to sin.
But, but, but, you will turn back.
You will come back. You will know redemption. You will know return. You will know a God that not only allows the “comeback” but actually celebrates it.
When I read the phrase “And when you have turned back,” I read a loud, wild picture of what grace really looks like.
And then, if you go too fast, you’ll miss the comma. You’ll miss the gap that sits quietly between the next thought. You’ll miss it because like me, you might misread the second half of that sentence.
Here’s what it says:
“And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.”
But here’s how we write it sometimes:
“And when you have turned back, repent for a long time and stay a long way from me until you are clean enough to return to my presence.”
“And when you have turned back, please stay far away from any ministry opportunities. You are too broken to help other people. How can you minister to others when your own life is so messed up?
“And when you have turned back, here are the 57 things you need to do in order to earn back my good favor.”
But Christ doesn’t do that! He drops a comma like a grenade.
He gives us the gift of the comma and then asks us to strengthen our brothers. Not beat ourselves with emotional whips. Or lay in a hole of shame. Or stay to the shadows of church afraid to be seen.
He wants you. In his arms. By his side. Surrendered and free in his presence.
Not because you deserve it or have earned it or are perfect.
Because of Easter.
That’s it.
We all get the comma of grace.
-John Taggard.
So much talk about growing churches...
So little talk about growing people.
The two are not automatically one in the same.
If we were more discipleship-centric than church-centric
the difference & results would be stunning.
Congregations would no longer be content to be filled with those
who've been baby christians all their lives,
those never growing into the full statute & measure of Christ-likeness.
And instead of spending tons of money on the house,
tons would be invested in practically & effectively growing the people.
What if, with greater priority than & beyond sunday morning service, churches invested tons of money & time & prayer & effort in turning you into a disciple of Christ & helping you fulfill your call.
What if...
Satan lived in God's presence & still fell away.
The presence of God is not the true anchor, God Himself is the true anchor.
If we are not anchored in God Himself, experiencing His presence can easily lead to presumption or pride. The counsel of the Lord is not "abide in his presence" but to "abide in Him..." Many are they who are addicted to God's presence, but have not yet come to abide in God Himself. Drawing near to God is not the same as surrendering to God. And seeking the pleasure of his presence is not the same as submission to His person. In His presence is fulness of joy. But in His person is fullness of Life... & the resource of full obedience...& the fruit of Christlikeness in both power a-n-d character. To anchor in God means to not only to draw near, but to absolutely surrender, & seek to know, walk with, & obey Him as life's 1st priority & greatest gift. God has many worshippers, but few worshippers of God alone. Know the difference. Live the difference.
"A true leader or shepherd will not primarily be seeking to establish their own authority over the flock, but to establish Christ's authority over the flock". For the flock we lead/shepherd is not "our" flock, but the flock of God... for which we are in essence mere undershepherds. But certainly not mere hirelings. For this flock we gladly lay down our lives in nurturing & nourishing, in training & discipline, in warfare & persecution from within & without, & in God-dependant servant-leadership, to the end that from simplicity of devotion to Christ they'd know God's heart, bear His likeness, & carry out His life's work in the context of their own unique callings. Leading & shepherding in this way & to this end is our own unique calling. And depsite the many trials, we do it with much joy.
Note that it is not the Lord of Host,
but the God of Peace
that crushes Satan under your feet.
The impregnable irresistible force of inward peace
is stronger than any weapon of conflict, strife, or division.
Peace is your greatest defense in battle.
Do not engage in outward battles without
inward union with the Prince of Peace
firmly seated on the throne of your soul.
If you can win the skirmish inside,
the one outside will be no match for you.
" May the peace of God be with you"
I think Jesus' goal was never to 'fix up' or repair my old life, but to replace it with His new life. Jesus did not simply come to give us truths - He came to make us true. More than simply giving us truths to live by, I think He came to live out those truths in us.
I think the rigorous commands He issued & all those wonderful & absurd high standards & second-mile edicts were not something He expected us to go out & attempt to fulfill. Rather, it was specifically for us to see that we could not - but to also go one step further & acknowledge that God could - and thereby consent to a lifelong partnership of us letting Him do in & through us what we could not do by ourselves. "With men it is impossible, but with God all things are possible"'
In entering such a partnership with God as the source of our life & goodness, & us as cooperative vessels of that expression, we thus step into the great life-surrendering, soul-transforming, power-displaying, love-immersing, mercy-receiving, gap-standing, schedule shuffling, wild, painful, messy, wonderful adventure called Life in Christ.
Those rigorously high standards Jesus both represented & presented for us to walk in were more than mere commands, they were descriptions - descriptions of God's own life & nature, & what our lives would look like if He was allowed to express His through we weak & glorious earthen vessels. This is why I believe the greatest thing God will ever ask of us is...... to yield. Hence our great grace deal begins not with us working, but with us entering into this rest. Not working to attain righteousness , but yielding to obtain a righteousness that is not earned, but freely given.
Who's got time to be the kind of Christian Christ said he wanted to make us all? In an attempt to try, we search our hearts & schedules for holes big enough to insert all we 'ought to be doing' & the less likely we see it possible to do all that seems to be required of followers of Christ. We tend to either ignore or expend great energy on "try to make space in our life for holiness, mission, morality & standard reaching", without first surrendering our lives up for the great exchange of old life' striving to embrace His 'new life' method - not of striving to attain, but of yielding to obtain.
Better to opt for absolute surrender, cease striving - enter into His Rest & let Him be the Life of this Christianity we signed up for. Agree to yield.
Scripture states that we are called to "walk in the power of an endless life." Pause & think about that.
How dismally small the number of us who do. Such passages remain to most of us a myth rather than a present experience. Paul stated that he counted all else dung compared to knowing Christ ...a-n-d walking in His resurrection life which was full of power. He regularly referred to Christ as his life. He said that in some viable way he was dead, & that the life being expressed in him was largely not his own, but Christ's. He repeatedly wrote that he was continuing to daily surrender up his own life so that Christ's own life could & would manifest through him. In several passages Paul called this consistently renewed surrender "dying daily". He specifically referred to our need to die daily as the whole reason for the cross Jesus told each of his followers they would need to carry. Paul clearly expressed that there was no "Resurrection Life" without there first being a death. Hence he repeated Jesus instruction that we carry our cross. This instrument of death becomes a doorway to Life.
Many of us know Jesus as the Way. Some know Him as the Truth. Few know Him as the Life. The entrance fee to knowing Jesus as the Life will cost us full surrender of our life, but the rewards are, well, ...endless.
By placing our expectation on His life not ours, we will still have to do stuff, even some of the same stuff we're doing now, still have to do boring stuff, hard stuff, painful stuff, smart stuff, we'll still have to engage spiritual disciplines, & we'll still have to go into hard broken places within & without & do our part of the work to mend & be made whole. We'll still have to find our stride on the narrow road.... Still dishes to wash, diapers to change. Still people to serve & mission to fulfill... The high standard will still need to be aspired to... BUT the "from where" will be the distinction & also the explanation for the level of grace, contentment, power & joy that will be ours because of this new way we chose to become His.
Knowing Jesus as our Life is not strictly for spiritual giants, it is what makes spiritual giants.
More to come...
i know what it is to get the beat down
to be stabbed in the back by both friend & foe
to fail so badly that recovery takes years
to lay down in a battle & play dead
to ignore the help that's offered because i refuse to take off my shirt to show someone the wound
yeah, i'm acquainted with grief
the kind that makes you crawl into a bottle rather than face it
the kind that makes you deny taking new friends cause old ones done ya so wrong, or because you've done them wrong but they won't say how so ya just don't know.
the kind that takes the wind out of your sails, or shapes & skews the way you look at the world for a while. the kind that comes with being asked to take leaps of faith so wide that though you eventually do make it to the other side you limp for a while...
yeah...I've know pain; the kind that makes you hide, makes you run, makes you tired even when you're standing still...smiling at passersby. the kind that makes you recoil at taking risks. the kind that makes you calloused toward the people & places that remind you of it
and also the kind that keeps you, though you limp, dependent on God & humbly moving forward
yeah, my past has known that kind of pain & failure & loss & grief
intimately acquainted with a version of even on my current landscape
oh yeah, this specific season has its own grief & disappointments & pains
its betrayals & heartaches & disappearances & unsolved murders.
yeah, I know em all too well.
could run or rage against the machine in a postal manner
or rest in the curve of His peace & encourage myself in this Lord.
today I've chosen the latter.
plan to tomorrow as well.
no novice now, i've been choosing the latter for some time now.
and who is my biggest cheerleader? me.
i believe in me so much that & believe I'll always choose courage over chaos as a response to the brokenesses of mine & of others that seem to hunt me down for assassinations of every kind.
and should i waiver...
i have a handful of trusted allies committed to keep me off the ledge
you see, i am not alone.
For the thousands of songs & choruses & cadences that speak of victory & overcoming & faithfulness & perseverance against all odds, there must also be songs for the in between, the on the way, the not yet attained, but striving. Songs for when we, fresh from failure & flaw, somehow find the desire... & the courage to get up, to carry on, & to try again. Where are the songs that applaud not only the ones who keep flying straight, but also hail those who when grounded by some failure exert the enormous inward energy required to get onto the runway & attempt to take flight again. Real victory is more than about having achieved, but is also in continuing to strive. And those who do so in the face of great inward & outward adversity,& with a finish line that seems afar off... these too are the heroes of the faith. These too are my heroes.
The latest famine in Somolia has given way to renewed & great starvation, & has resulted in the establishing of refugee camps, which have become small cities falling pray to gangs & the mafia... and genuine entrepreneurs thriving in micro-businesses. These camps are where my morning intercession has been turned. Somolia. Indonesia. Haiti.
What
in
the
world
is going on inside my big fat normally small-minded head???
It's like my head has recently been informed that the world is not flat.
"And they gave themselves to prayer..."
Was thinking this morning about what a huge space prayer took up among early church leaders. It was no mere afterthought, nor was it comprised largely of what was said before & at the close of meetings. No. Prayer together & individually was given big spaces on each of their schedule books & calenders. So much so that one of their defining characteristic as well as that of their disciples was that they were people of prayer. Corporate prayer & personal prayer. How upside down things have become for our present day leaders & their disciples. Prayer, which once held the chief places in the lives of leaders & followers, has now been relegated to pre & post meetings, & perhaps a few quickly uttered times in the week. Hollowed out prayers uttered on the go, unattached from a vital & strong God-relational prayer life. Prayer has been all but neutered in this present age. No wonder God has been raising up movements devoted to prayer, to do it, to model it, & to resurrect its doing among the ranks of followers of Christ & even among not yet followers of Christ. How strange it is that most church leaders pray an average of 15 minutes a week with the bulk of other time taken up with running the business of church, & a brief prayer time filled with the listed needs of the church, like some weekly business meeting or banking transaction; all while unknowingly personally estranged from the One to whom the church belongs. Ceasing on ministry as an escape from having to come, stand, & wait before the Lord. It has always been easier to serve Him than to stand before Him. Like a spouse so focused on the house that she has forgotten the husband for whom the house is kept. Running on the strength from their gifting, loving ministry & people more than God, & bereft of the fruit & intimacy that comes with absolute surrender & time before the Lord. Here is where Bride's destinies are cut short & would be God-companions become mere somewhat happy worker bees. God once said to me "My people profess great love for Me, but they can't stand to be near Me. Call them to come near..." Hey you, come near- learn to live near. Abide. You who have mastered a business relationship with God, start a Tryst with the lonely living God. Court & woo Him, shedding the best of your affection on Him; Pouring your love out on Him like that gal with that alabaster box filled with precious perfumes. Be audacious, wholehearted & white-hot in that which many lived & died to make a way for you to have...relationship with the living God. Give yourself to God-communication that's filled with God-communion. Once upon a time, men & woman in absolute surrender & reckless abandon, made God their One thing, their first thing, & it made all seconds radiate.
Once Upon A Time They Gave Themselves To Prayer
